Raising children has undergone profound shifts over time, moving from deeply communal systems to the more isolated model of the modern nuclear family. Historically, children were raised within a “village” of extended family, neighbors, and community members who all played active roles in nurturing, teaching, and protecting the next generation. This form of alloparenting—where caregiving responsibilities are shared beyond the biological parents—was not just a cultural custom but an evolutionary strategy. Anthropologist Sarah Hrdy has written extensively about this, arguing that humans evolved as cooperative breeders. In her work, Mothers and Others, Hrdy explains that human infants are born highly dependent, requiring far more care than one or even two adults can realistically provide. Thus, communal child-rearing allowed for better survival outcomes and healthier development.

In contrast, today’s parents—especially in Western societies—often raise children in relative isolation. The modern nuclear family model tends to place the full weight of parenting on just two adults, sometimes even one. This isolation has real consequences. Parents today face the enormous demands of balancing work, education, discipline, emotional support, and household management, often without consistent external help. Sociologist Arlie Hochschild, in her landmark study The Second Shift, found that after a full day of paid work, many parents—particularly mothers—come home to a “second shift” of unpaid labor: cooking, cleaning, childcare, and emotional management. This overwhelming load contributes to parental burnout, chronic stress, and decreased well-being.

The absence of a village doesn’t just affect parents—it also impacts children. Kids thrive in environments where they can form bonds with multiple caring adults. A 2010 study published in Child Development found that children who had access to a network of adult caregivers beyond their parents displayed better emotional regulation and social skills (Sage & Kindermann, 2010). These findings support the idea that diverse adult interactions help foster resilience and broaden a child’s understanding of the world. Similarly, a 2022 study in Developmental Psychology showed that children raised in multigenerational or community-based environments scored higher in measures of empathy, cooperation, and problem-solving skills (Lancy et al., 2022).

Reimagining parenting as a community effort doesn’t require going back in time—it means creatively building support systems in the present. Neighborhood “parent pods,” intergenerational households, playgroups, and shared childcare cooperatives are all modern ways of reviving the village model. These networks not only provide practical assistance—such as babysitting or meal sharing—but also offer emotional support, role modeling, and mutual learning opportunities for both parents and children.

In a time when many parents feel overwhelmed, isolated, and unsupported, rebuilding a sense of collective care is more important than ever. Reviving the wisdom of the village isn’t just nostalgic—it’s essential. Parenting is not meant to be a solitary journey. It is, and always has been, a shared societal responsibility.

References

Hrdy, S. B. (2009). Mothers and others: The evolutionary origins of mutual understanding. Harvard University Press.

Hochschild, A. R., & Machung, A. (2012). The second shift: Working families and the revolution at home (Rev. ed.). Penguin Books.

Lancy, D. F., Grove, M. A., & Bock, J. (2022). Multiple caregivers and child outcomes: Rethinking the nuclear family norm. Developmental Psychology, 58(4), 623–635. https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0001286

Sage, M., & Kindermann, T. A. (2010). Peer networks and social support in childhood: Implications for emotional development. Child Development, 81(3), 960–975. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2010.01444.x

*This article was co-created with the help of AI.